adventures

Ethan's begining

Tue, 25 Sep 2012 18:28:04 +0100

Logab was running down the alley as fast as he could. He could hear the dogs and men chasing after him. They were swearing in Arabic. He cut left down another alley, then a right and started climbing the fire escape. He had to get away. He couldn’t let them catch him. He was In Benghazi, Libya. The same place where the U.S. embassy was attacked. He had tried to help the poor diplomats, but they had been over run. When the door was breached and the rebels got in, they had tried to defend their embassy with guns, staves, swords, anything they could. Nothing worked though. There were too many of them and too few of us. They had to scatter. Now, he was running.

He was on top of the building now, running from rooftop to rooftop. He could hear them in the alley below, still running after him, some climbing the buildings. He couldn’t keep this up for too much longer; they were going to catch him soon. He had to stop; there was nowhere else to go. He was cornered on top of a building with a fifty foot drop to the ground. They had him now, he was trapped.

He turned to fight when he noticed that they had somehow disappeared. He looked into the alley below just as the last one in sight was pulled into the shadows. Someone was helping him, but whom?

“Looked like you could use some help,” a voice behind him said. Logab whirled around to see who it was. It was a man, tall, with brown hair. He couldn’t have been more than twenty years old.

“Who are you?” Logab asked.

“My name is Ethan. Ethan Elbarassi. I saw them chasing you and decided that you could use some help. Come with me, I have a safe house close to here.” Logab went with him. He was tired and would like a place to sleep. When they got there, they sat down and Logab asked who he was.

“ Listen, my friend, I will tell you my story” Ethan said.

And here begins Ethan’s story…

Dear Moonies, Hahaha, Love Logab

Tue, 25 Sep 2012 18:29:49 +0100

It was a relaxing peaceful afternoon. Logab was tending to his garden, picking weeds and watering his award winning tomatoes. Everything peaceful and at first it looked like it was gona be another ordinary day. Then he felt it. It was like everything just did a complete 180. Dogs were barking, the wind started howling, he had a horrible feeling in his gut. Something was wrong and he needed to find out what it was.

He quickly went inside and got his scouter that the Sayain Vegeta had left on earth. That would help him find the source of this evil power that he felt. He quickly put the scouter on and went outside. It looked like whatever it was, was on the other side of the world. He ran to his basement and got in his private elevator, hitting the down button as he walked in. It went straight down to the center of the earth. Because he was at the center of the earth the elevator started spinning and rotating, being pushed and moved by the magnetic field. He used the scouter again and saw the direction it was and waited until the up button was aimed in that direction. He timed it right and pushed the button. The elevator rocketed in that direction, bursting its way to the surface. When it finally stopped, he opened the door. Instantly he realized where he was. He was near Mount Cheonseong in northern South Korean.

Logab carefully searched the area for some clue as to what this evil power was. There was a very dark cloud at the top of the mountain, which was weird because the rest of the skies were clear. He started walking up the mountain. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he knew that he had to stop it. As he made his way to the top, he noticed that the grass and plant life looked more and more dead the higher he got.

After a brisk and silent jog to the top he started feeling more like quitting. It was like his energy was being drained from him slowly. When he got to the top he found what was creating this power. It was reverend Sun Myung Moon of the Unification Church. We was floating above a rock, surrounded in a green aurora legs crossed eyes closed meditating. The draining feeling started getting stronger and stronger the closer he got to the reverend.

“I knew you would come” The reverend said quietly.

“You cannot keep draining life and energy from the world to sustain your life. The life you take is not your own and doesn’t belong to you” Logab declared.

“We will see if my visions are correct, Logab Straber. Do you have the power to defeat me?” With that the evil reverend opened his eyes and stood up. With a shout he pulled a staff from the earth with a very dark red crystal on the top of it. Logab jumped to the side just as he shot a spell of some sort at him. The ground where Logab had stood erupted and burned with a strange black flame. Logab hid behind a large rock as the reverend shot another. He was still being drained, feeling weaker and weaker every second. He heard a loud crack and felt the rock behind him move just as a pair of stone hands wrapped his body. He was lifted into the air and turned around to face the reverend.

“It seems you do not hold the strength to beat me Logab. A shame that someone such as yourself has to die” The reverend aimed his staff at Logab, and the crystal started glowing with a dark hue.

Logab did not come unprepared though. He put his hand together and pushed the second button on the side of his watch. A protective skin tight bubble armor quickly covered his body. The reverend attacked, shooting his black fire at Logab and the stone golem. With a blinding flash Logab felt himself thrown across the mountain. When he got up he saw that the golem was completely destroyed and the reverend staring at him in disbelief.

“ You are wrong Moon!” Logab Yelled, “I do have the power to beat you!” Logab then hint the third button on the side of his watch. His energy was being multiplied by 100 and radiated into the environment around him, which the wizard was still absorbing. The wizard felt himself grow stronger and stronger and stronger until he felt invincible. He turned to Logab and was about to say one last thing before he attacked again for what would have been the last time when he felt a sharp pain in his chest and left arm. He fell, and all the power he had left him. He disappeared into a cloud of smoke, most likely back to his main church. He would not recover from this though. Logab turned off the shield and the power multiplier and fell down from exhaustion. That had taken more out of him than he thought it would.

When he opened his eyes he noticed that the grass had started to gradually get its color back. He shakily stood up and looked around. The whole mountain looked like it was turning greener by the second. Logab made his way back to the elevator and pushed the home button. When he got there he laid down in his bed, it was daylight out but he would sleep today. More than likely he would sleep tomorrow too. Maybe when he woke up he could take more of a break, it had been a busy few weeks. Whether it would be or not didn’t matter right now though. Right now he needed sleep, and that’s exactly what he got.

Cuban Powwer Outage

Tue, 25 Sep 2012 18:30:12 +0100

Logab Straber was just sitting down to eat his morning breakfast, a bowl of nails without any milk, when he heard he computer beep. He hurried over to see what it was. His computer only beeped when something important was happening. It was the same in this case. It was an anonymous email the said that Elvis was still alive! He has been living underground since his reported death in a 35 year long ping pong tournament with the mole people. He finished second and got a pretty shiny silver metal and an IOU one Cuban cigar. The important part though, was that he reportedly went to Cuba to redeem his IOU and they said it was expired. So’ Elvis has allegedly planned an attack on Cuba tonight! It was a Sunday morning so Logab had church, but then he could go to Cuba and prepare for the attack.

He finished his cereal, went to church, and mounted his magic camel. Four seconds later he was in Havana. With no time to spare, he quickly set up a stage for a rock off. Just as the email said, Elvis was seen walking towards the capital that night.

“Elvis! You will not hurt these poor socialist people! You must beat me in a rock off to win your cigar” Logab shouted.

“Logab Straber! You will not stop me this time,” Elvis roared. “I will have my cigar. I earned it fair and square in a ping pong tournament underground.”

“I heard about that, congratulations by the way.”

“Thank you, thank you very much”

“You’re welcome, but if you want that cigar you need to beat me in a rock off!” Logab yelled. Elvis grabbed a guitar and to the rock off and they began. The King was good and started off strong, but Logab had the Pick of Destiny. They played hard for a solid hour but the King’s defeat was inevitable. With one final strum Logab sent the King back underground in shame. The people of Cuba cheered for Logab, until they saw that because the rock off had been so epic the island country had lost power all power. At first they were mad that there was no power, but after thinking about it more they decided that a night without power was better than Elvis sinking the island. So Logab was quickly and quietly escorted off the island and back home. When he got back to his house he put that cigar in they had given him in a glass case. It was a trophy of the day he beat Elvis in a rock off. Then he fell into his bed. Now it was time for him to sleep. He had had a busy day with the Cubans. So tonight He would need his energy for next week’s adventure.

The UK's Lioness Problem

Tue, 25 Sep 2012 18:30:24 +0100

This is a chronicle of the adventures of a man named Logab Straber. One day Logab was wondering around the Fairland Indiana area, making sure everything was ok because that was his job. The town council of Fairland had recently elected Logab as the official watcher of things and going ons around the town. Even though they mostly did this to keep him from discovering the secret nuclear silos they had hidden in the old mill, Logab took this responsibility very seriously. He walked the streets, making sure no miscreants were being ridiculous and that the elderly were kept indoors. The elderly were the town’s greatest asset. Just as he was about to round the last corner and be done for the day, he gets a phone call. It was his old friend Sue Wright from the UK. She said that earlier in the week she sighted a lioness roaming her fields. She was so scared she called the police and all of the UK was looking for this lioness. The reason she was calling though was that the police had called off the search. They had told the people that they had run out of donuts and that they were going to refill their supply, but that the people should still be very careful.

Hearing this, Logab sprang into action. He gathered his official Logab Straber Lion catching gear and put on his jetpack. He had forgotten to refuel the bi-plane that he usually travels in. With the jetpack on and his gear in his backpack he was ready to go. Right after he fed Rhino, his dog. Now, he was off!

When he got there he saw that most of the UK was in turmoil. With the recent Olympics going on everyone was already on edge. Now, with this lioness problem, they had turned crazy! With quick thinking and an Ice cream Sunday, he calmly informed the people of this poor country that he had control of the situation. After hearing this, the entire country felt better and all went out to a group lunch in France to wait until Logab had captured the lioness.

“The first thing I must do,” Logab said “is to find this lion. Then I can capture her.”

So, Logab thought up a brilliant plan to do just that. He put himself inside a box and mailed himself to the lioness. It was genius! 3-5 days later, she opened up the box and BAM! He captured her with a net. She tried to get out at first, and almost did. Except, Logab knew that a lionesses weakness is smooth jazz. He sang to her and she fell asleep. While she was asleep he carefully transported her to the nearest zoo, and the she is still today. And that is the story of how Logab solved the UK’s missing lioness problem.

The world being a safer place now, Logab went back to Fairland. This had been an exciting adventure, and he was glad he could help his friend Sue Wright. Maybe one day the could hang out again under better circumstances. But, for now, he had to sleep. He would need his energy for next week’s adventure.

Ghost

Tue, 25 Sep 2012 18:29:34 +0100

i was walkin around the mr. ts in fairland and i saw a man be picked up by a invisible ghost. he was freaking out and cryin an what not. i was just tryin to buy some monster. the man floatin in the air then got a massive erection. it was weird. the chick behind the counter was gettin pissed and tellin him to get his foatin ass down. he was like bitch, im gettin raped by this here ghost, ya'll better hurry up an call bob barker. i tried to call but his answerin machine picked up and said the price is wrong bitch. he was still floatin up there when this blue 1954 ford ranger busted through the front window. the ghost droped the man and turned to look at the truck. two freaky lookin alein dude got out of the truck, Sasquatch walked out of the house with this really short lookin chick. i reconized them all from earlier encounters. that short chick was my daughter. i was then pissed. i rushed past the ghost, given him the bird as i went, grabed a red bull and chugged the shit out of it. i grew wings, pulled out my samuri sowrd and flew at sasquash. we had a sword fight and the aleins threw net made out of tom cuises hair which magically caught the ghost. they took the ghost and threw him in the house. by this time i had beaten sasquash and was tee-baggin him in the face. they grabed him mid tee-bag and they all left in a hustle. i was then once again very pissed. bud mendenhall came over and said, "now son, do you need to visit the building"

Big Foot

Tue, 25 Sep 2012 18:28:36 +0100

yep, i was out in back field huntin for some hogs with my samurai sword when i saw big foot. he aslo had a samurai sword. we then had a epic sword fight and i won. i then tee-bagged him like 20 times. he was pretty pissed. it was kinda hard top tell with his berka berka sign language but i figured it out. imma right a book about bigfoot and call it the dummy's guide to berka berka sign language. i was gona show people but this blue 1954 ford ranger showed up and abducted him. they were aliens. they were the same ones that shrunk my daughter and took my house. then i was pissed. then i asked tom cruise to use his berka berka witchcraft to summon harry potter and have him turn me into a mindreading troll bodied fish headed bar of soap. as he did so i realized it wasnt the best idea because i forgot my key to the universe. so i was talkin to Gandhi bout his beliefs and drop some serious knowledge on his hindu ass. i dont mean to get scientific but oprah and she used her spells to make me a genius. which is not to say joe dirté didnt teach me a whole lot. but he still thinks i like to see homos naked. i dont, trust me. its gross. nothin worse than a couple of homos walkin round all naked and exposed.sorry if im blowin ur mind with all this kno0wlage again. im a very technical person. there is a secret message here in the bold print. its kinda like the davinci code, so you gota be tom hanks to figure it out. but back to bigfoot... im about to start my life journey with my soul partner ( i can not stress this enough, im not gay) billy ray cyrus. we plan on travling across the world lookin for the power ranger's base. we have reason to believe that aliens are hiding there. we will then bring the aliens to the center of the earth and drown them in lava and eatin by dinosaurs. I hope you learn a lot from this message, as it was completely true.

with love,

Logab straber

co- pilot of the S.S. verginya galactic questior

p.s.

berka berka berr, flurmadinga chippin do. mango dango mamba jammba berka berka boo.

(read my book)

p.s.s

p0wNagE

p.s.s.s

just straight p0wNagE